I normally have a trainer. A privilege that my boyfriend pays for and make me feel guilty every time I walk in the door. Most people my age can barely pay the bills, and we pay a crazy amount for someone else to plan our workouts.
This week, not so much. This week, our trainer is on vacation, and it is difficult to get to the gym and work out.
We go to a bodybuilding, big on weightlifting gym. I am not a bodybuilder. I’m not even close to a body builder.
I am an obese, lady trying to lose some weight. My BMI is 37. I have boobs. I have a butt that it so large, it screws up my bench presses. Some days the lady bar (only 35 lbs vs 45 lbs, and does it matter when I’m lifting more than 45?) feels like the heaviest thing in the world.
Sometimes I have the most confidence in the world. Everyone is so focused on their workout, they must not be paying attention to me. I’m doing well, I’m already in the gym.
Yesterday, as I was getting ready to deadlift, the entire gym moved into the room I was in, and I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t bend down in front of a bunch of dudes pushing 300+ pounds across the room. So I went on the treadmill, where I had a panic attack and had to sit because I couldn’t breathe.
Most days, I can be strong, but yesterday was not my day. Luckily next week, the trainer is back and I can hide in his office and work on my squats.
5 sets of 5 reps- 95lb back squat
3 sets of 6 box step ups
Biked almost 2 miles in 5 minutes (inspired me to get on a bike and try biking to work)
Ran for 2 minutes, almost a quarter of a mile.
Total Gym time: 45 minutes.
See you soon,